How to Deal with a Demanding Boss

Everyone has had bosses who are difficult to deal with.  As odd as it may sound, sometimes working for a demanding boss can be a great experience because they challenge you and lead you to do your job more effectively.  That said, some bosses can be inconsistent or unprofessional and can, for lack of a better word, make your life a living hell.  Some bosses can be confrontational, demanding, impatient, blunt and lack empathy.  Not all bosses have the same management style.  Some are just intense by nature whereas others are lenient and jovial.  A lot of times, however, demanding bosses put you in untenable, no-win situations.  So how to deal with a difficult boss?

First off, if your boss is a real jerk at times, avoid responding in kind.  Try and take the high road.  If your boss because verbally abusive, try to maintain a cool head as tempting as it may be to scream back.  That will only make the situation worse.  If you maintain your professionalism, others around you may pick up on that.  Remember oftentimes your boss has his or her own boss.

Document your work.  Keep track of your accomplishments so that if you need to go to management should the situation become too much to handle, you can show them what a stellar job you are doing in spite of your boss’s overreaching demands.  

If your boss does treat you with disrespect, document the incidents.  Keep track of the dates and the situations so that again, if you need to go to management or HR you can have a thorough record of what happened.  Write down what problem existed at the time and how your boss reacted as well as how you reacted in kind.

Use objective measures.  If your boss is breathing down your neck about something, give concrete examples of how you handled the situation.  If you did something in three hours that it usually takes five hours for someone else to do, let him or her know that.  Confront your boss with evidence of your solid performance.

Always look out for your best interests.  Keep your network active in case your boss becomes so unbearable that you feel you have no choice but to leave your job.  Stay in touch with former colleagues.  Maintain relationships with alumni from your primary school or college.  Be active in community affairs.  Keeping yourself visible in your field of interest can help you find a new job should you choose to leave your old one.

Treat your boss with respect even if you feel he or she doesn’t deserve it.  You don’t want to burn bridges should you need a recommendation if you plan to leave.  Always be gracious even in the face of unnecessary pressure your boss may place upon you.  If you feel your boss was right about blasting you for something, let him or her know that you will not make the same mistake again and keep your word.

Use humor to cope.  Laughing at untenable situations is often a great way to deal with them.  Rather than dwelling on a past negative experience with a boss, try to shrug it off and look at the comical side.

Figure out what makes your boss “tick” and try to avoid making that a reality.  While you shouldn’t be forced to tip toe around your boss, if you see him or her becoming agitated about a situation, try to keep your distance and stay out of it.

Keep your boss in the loop.  Let your boss know about your progress or how you have done a good job with a project that is important.  If you show him or her that you are doing a good job, he or she might be less likely to come down hard on you.  Think about setting up a weekly meeting with your boss to let him or her know about your performance and how it has been effective in helping moving the company and its goals forward.  Show your boss that you are meeting your deadlines.

As difficult as it may be, don’t gossip with coworkers about the difficulties you are experiencing with your boss.  Things have a way of getting around the office and you don’t want your boss thinking you are speaking negatively about him or her.  If things are going really badly, confront your boss directly in a calm and collected tone. Employees who keep a tight lip are viewed as responsible and professional.

If your boss is being very demanding towards you, try and take it as a compliment.  Maybe he or she thinks you are most adept to handle difficult problems or situations and so while you might feel singled out, the pressure your boss puts on you might be a sign that he or she has confidence in your ability to do a great job.

Lastly, and possibly most importantly, don’t take it personally.  Likely your boss is not solely taking out his or her aggression solely on you and that aggression very often has little to do with you.  Your boss might be exceedingly stressed out and unable to control his or her emotions based off of that.  At times, you could become your boss’s punching bag and while that is difficult to deal with, you have to remember that it’s not about you.

While working with a demanding boss can be very difficult at times, sometimes you just have to suck it up and continue to work through it.  While this can feel demoralizing at times, don’t let it get you down.  There are many ways to deal with a demanding boss as I’ve discussed above.  Remember if things are really getting too overwhelming, you can always go to management with your concerns or look for work elsewhere.  If you take some of the advice I’ve given above, you might be more apt to deal with a difficult boss effectively.

Here are some articles you might want to check out about how to deal with a demanding boss:

“10 Tips for Dealing with an Overly Demanding Boss”: http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2013/07/10/10-tips-for-dealing-with-an-overly-demanding-boss/

“14 Ways to Manage (and Manipulate) a Difficult Boss”: http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2012/05/15/14-ways-to-manage-and-manipulate-a-difficult-boss/

“How to Deal with a Nightmare Boss”: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/how-to-deal-with-a-nightmare-boss.html

“How to Deal with a Demanding Boss”: http://www.ehow.com/how_2066883_deal-demanding-boss.html

Until next time…